1. Enter The Ninja
The Bad Movie Club's second bad movie night triple feature was another unmitigated success. It was a ninja-themed night, complete with samurai swords, good friends, good food, and bad movies. We kicked off the evening with Menahem Golan's campy cult classic, 'Enter the Ninja', an epic tale of a war veteran (Franco Nero) trained in the art of ninjutsu who goes to live with his friends in the Philippines only to find them and their village threatened by an evil businessman (Christopher George) who will stop at nothing to buy their land. Nero sleeps with his friend's wife (Susan George) to no ill consequences, and George eventually gets himself a ninja (Sho Kosugi), who just so happens to be Nero's arch-nemesis from his training days, and then it's on. A disproportionate amount of people die for this small piece of land, but I guess it's all worth it in the end when Nero and Kosugi meet for their monumental final battle. Sounds pretty awesome, right? It was a lot of fun, and totally worth watching just for Christopher George's ridiculous, over-the-top acting, as well as for the added bonus of seeing the grandpa from 'Silent Night Deadly Night' (Will Hare) as one of Nero's friends.
2. Samurai Cop
If you're a fan of bad movies, 'Samurai Cop' is the quintessential film you absolutely need to see, and it served as the second film of our second bad movie night. One of the finest examples of inept film-making, 'Samurai Cop' is so bad in almost every way, from the awful script to the silly soundtrack to the horrendous acting. To start with, Matt Hannon stars as Joe Marshall, and despite the fact that several people refer to him as the person who is called Samurai Cop, nobody actually ever calls him Samurai Cop and he is definitely not a samurai. The movie begins with a car chase, involving a helicopter that is clearly nowhere near any action and doesn't seem like it is even moving, yet the pilot can see all the action, and she is able to communicate all the details to Marshall without a radio. Once the chase is finished, Marshall and the helicopter pilot make love in their underwear. Robert Z'Dar and some other bad guys show up and ... Jesus, I've seen this movie three times now and I can't honestly tell you what happens. What I do know is this - Z'Dar and Hannon have one major fight in several locations, with Hannon's long, flowing wig occasionally coming detached, and there are a few more scenes of passionate romance including one where Z'Dar looks like he is trying to eat a girl's face. Almost everybody dies, but Hannon and his partner will be back for the long-awaited (24 years) sequel, 'Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance'. You can even be a part of the magic, if you want! Just head over to their Kickstarter page and donate all of your hard-earned cash!
There's also a toy lion's head mounted on the wall of a receptionist's office.
3. Undefeatable
The final film of the night was Godfrey Ho's 'Undefeatable'. As was to be expected, it was terrible, but wonderful. After Stingray, a lunatic with mommy issues, rapes his wife and she leaves him, he goes on a rampage, kidnapping and killing all women who look like his wife (turns out there were quite a few women in town who fit that bill). When a talented street fighter (Cynthia Rothrock) loses her sister to the deranged maniac, she makes it her mission to find him and bring him down. A cop who keeps bringing Rothrock in for fighting and disturbing the peace enlists her to fight her way to Stingray. That cop also knows martial arts. In fact, I'm pretty sure everyone in this film except for some high school jocks and the women who looked like Stingray's wife (wait, even one of them had some moves) were martial arts experts. That is a surprising amount of people in such a condensed area when you consider how many people you actually know who have mastered any martial arts (aside from getting a black belt in Karate in middle school). Doesn't matter. The script called for a town full of kung fu fighters, and that is what they got. It was the apposite ending to another fabulous bad movie night.
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